Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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