Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
