and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
