I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
