Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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