tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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