the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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