Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
