Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
