i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
