I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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