She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Farmville is her only friend.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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