Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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