apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
