Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
