So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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