Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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