you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
