Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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