I feel like abortions should bother me more
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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