I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
