my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
