Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do vagina's smell?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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