I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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