Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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