is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
