So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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