I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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