come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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