good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
