she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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