I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
