I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
sarcasm needs its own font
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
