Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
