You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So many bounce houses so little time
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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