This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
