This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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