So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
