Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
