covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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