apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
