Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
