If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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