My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I have post one night stand depression
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