Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dick very happy bro
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
