i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
