Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
