How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
