I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he just fucked me for my cheese.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
