If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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