She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
